Legio nomen mihi est

nnnhhgghh.

2008-10-06T23:38:59Z

Busy day tomorrow. Getting up at early o'clock to sort Jagex application, and then trekk over to the Freshers' Fair for stall-watching, and then to the Jobcentre for the buttraping, and then straight on from the Freshers' Fair in the evening to Dina's birthday meal, and THEN to the Calling. God, I'm gonna die...

Two other things:

2008-10-06T16:04:32Z

1. I'm watching Frankenweenie by Tim Burton and weeping because I am a) sentimental and b) insane. Dogggg. :(

2. I think I've got a, er, crush on the Chronophage. I mean, it's more than that because I'm an affront to rationality, science, the king and country; but every time I see it, my heart skips a beat and I get all... funny. And then I want to commit violences against people who have their photo taken in front of it because, well, I don't... well, how's it going to look? You've got this photo of you, grinning like a fool, standing in front of this clock, right, this mechanical clock topped with a metal cicada in perpetual possession of time and space devouring the seconds as they tick by, counting our way into destruction at the end of days? MAYBE I TAKE THESE THINGS TOO SERIOUSLY. THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE CONSIDERED, BUT THEN I HAVE ALSO CONSIDERED LEAVING IT OFERINGS.

I want to find a pattern for some skinny jeans. And then I will make some that are perfect. Yes. Yes, I will. Fuck you, Topshop! I'm going to be famous. Um.

sigh

2008-10-06T15:28:38Z

I'm posting this from my sibling's room in Queens', sitting in the bay window and looking out, primarily at a wall, but also at the court over to the chapel.

I mostly wish I'd been put in a nice college. Maybe I'd have gone less nuts in my first year. Doing real English, in a college not full of wankers. When I say I made no friends at college, I mean it. I only made friends there (Dan, Jools and Dina) by accident - Dan and Jools because they were doing my course, and even then they weren't in my year. Dina and I got to know each other through the Calling.

Homerton was 456 kinds of rubbish. I wish I'd been allowed to go to, well, anyhere else. Somewhere central, friendly and old. I wish I'd had a nice room in my first year: one that I could have moved about in or had friends over to. I wish my corridor hadn't been populated by wankers, who talked to me only as a novelty and then moved back to their real friends to talk about sport or evangelical Christianity or pashminas.

And I could hear George giving all the freshers herpes next door.

Hey, at least I got a house for the next two years, right? Sigh.

...Oh, oops.

2008-10-05T22:09:53Z

I haven't posted all weekend, I don't think. Lame! So here's a summary:

- Next sunday is the SUPER SPECIAL CHOCOLATEY FUDGE COATED AWESOME LUPIE STARDUST SELLATHON!! where you get to come over to my house (email for address, otherwise check my memories either on IJ or LJ for details) from 10am onwards to buy my stuff! There'll be lots of stuff, because I'm an A-grade hoarder, and now is the time when I need to start, uh, letting go of things. Which is hard. Because, my god, I love stuff. If you're going to turn up at a lunch/dinner time, give me a ring and let me know, and I'll cook for you, too. <3

- This weekend consisted of my doing things, and Thomas and I coming to the blissful realisation that, as adults, we have a choice: doing the laundry or playing more video games. The laundry got done eventually, but RED KNIGHT HAS GAINED A LEVEL~

- Thomas got the PS2 working again. I swear, that device (beloved of me as it is) has died and been resurrected so many times, it's like a super-concentrated mechanical zombie. And that'd make a great band name.

- IN MY PANTS.

- Rumour has it that I'll be wearing my bitchwang to the Calling. Only time will tell.

WELL GOOD GOD DAMN AND OTHER SUCH PHRASES

2008-10-03T10:24:12Z

I HAVEN'T HEARD A BEAT LIKE THIS IN AGES

Jobseeking is kicking my arse. Send halp.

Also! Also! My fringe is fucking wicked. Yes, I did cut my hair. I now own a floppy, emo-fag-boy fringe and I fucking love it. I can sweep it aside and arch my eyebrow and wear obscenely tight trousers and platform boots and glitter and silver and and and eyeliner and ALL I NEED NOW IS A PENIS AND I AM THE PERSON I ALWAYS SHOULD HAVE BEEN.

Hooray! I'm sorted and happy. But jobseeking is still kick my (fantastic) arse.

Rest in pieces, Mr. Pstooman.

2008-10-02T19:30:20Z

I think it's finally time to admit that my long-running companion, my ancient, fat, black PS2 is dead. His final song was to let Thomas and I watch MirrorMask, and now, with my trying and failing to get the bastard to run Drakan, I've just given up. It may be so that he runs smoothly without the casing, but I can't get the fucking casing off because Thomas has rescrewed it tightly, and I have all the grip strength of a lettuce.

He is making "gudder-gudder-gudder vvurrrrrrrrrp" noises folornly to himself.

I think it might be time to call it a night. He's been my gaming machine of choice for ...several years now. He's one of the early thicker models, you know, back in the day when they only came in Fat and Black. He's been a faithful companion. I have had absolutely no problems whatsoever with my PS2, except in the latter days of fuzzy lenses and malfunctioning read mechanisms. Through his solomn blackness, with gently blinking green and blue lights, Mr. Pstooman (as my sib and I called him) has brought me such delights as the console LOK releases, Drakan II, Gauntlet and other ridiculously silly hack 'n' slash RPGs. I've also enjoyed the GTA series, Canis Canem Edit, more recently; along with the golden, glowing god-like game that is Okami.

Many have been the highlights of my beloved, chunky platform of enjoyment, but his lens is dimmed, his lasers uncharged, and his mechanics sad and juddery.

Good night, sweet prince.

I'm soooo buying a replacement. Lupie + PS2 = OTP Anyone got any idea how much a slimline one is new these days? Pittance, I'd imagine. No, I'm not getting a fucking Wii.

Well, tits.

2008-10-02T10:01:22Z

The time of the Caffeine Sensitivity is upon me once more, and I'm laid out here in the computer room, on the Futon, trying not to vom. I have consumed milk. This should help. HOW LAME IS THIS, SERIOUSLY.

Rubbish. Today should be fun, though, if I can mobilise my nauseous arse down to town at thing o'clock.

I just applied for another job, too. That makes... five actual job applications and four agency submissions. I feel accomplished. It's amazing that I've found anything I could potentially do in the first place. Admittedly, I only reeeaally care about two of those jobs (the one I've applied for today, and The One I went for on wednesday) but it's still something.

A lady at Select rang me today (at 9.03 am! Christ! It's a wonder people can live at that time!) saying she'd seen how I'd done silver service in the past, and would I like to do some more? I laughed the hollow laugh of someone who got felt up at the races while carrying 36 hot plates, and told her that I'd got felt up at the races while carrying 36 hot plates and that it had sort of put me off the idea. That and these days, my arm strength ain't for shit.

'Cking hell. When did I get this fucking boring? Someone shoot me, please: this grown-up lark is a dick pavlova.

Nnnnnnnnh

2008-10-02T08:14:58Z

I am never, ever drinking one-and-a-third cans of Rockstar before bed ever again. I think I have a caffeine hangover. Is it possible to have a caffeine hangover? I feel soooo nauseous, and my hands are shaking. Rubbish! I can't cut my hair if my hands are shaking! That's totally lame. I'm going to force myself to eat breakfast (ugghhh just the thought of it is turning my stomach) and get some drugs down me, see if that helps.

Nnh. Hey, I'm socialising today! Hooray. This means people can get to laugh at my new hair. Woohoo! Well, uh, it won't be radically different, just... different.

Okay. My eyelid is twitching. NEXT TIME, WE SANDWICH THE ROCKSTAR WITH, LIKE, WATER OR SOMETHING.

Last night was excellent, though.

PARP PARP HERE COMES THE VANITY TRUCK

2008-10-01T23:38:56Z

Y'know, after years and years of dressing like I coated myself in glue and rolled in my wardrobe, I think I've finally figured out what I'm doing with myself, style-wise.

I did a bit of David Bowie in my time (it's okay, I can almost control the cravings these days) and, as a result, dressed in ...well, bollocks, really. Like I got too close to an explosion in a paint factory. God only knows how that related to David Bowie - I assume I got a bit excited by the red patent platforms and took it from there (I still have mine, heh: good old Pennangalan!). But that's how it was. I proudly declared myself the anti-goth (srsly) and ponced around with long long long fucking hair and a beret and a jumper made entirely out of Glastonbury.

And then, I got to university, where I met Thomas. Suddenly! My entire wardrobe changed! From RAINBOW FUCKING BLARGH to corp goth/cyber tart. I loved the cyber scene - I was tending towards that way in my last year of school anyway - and Thomas made it worse. I started dichotomising in my wardrobe: half is neon and cyb0r; the other half is monochrome corporate goth secretary, gothin' up yer filez. I ceased to wear the lipstick I loved to fucking much during school (which was perhaps a good fuckin' job since most of the lipstick I wore was metallic blue.)

Fast forward to right now. No more is there a dichotomy in my head. No more do I feel that floofy, flirty cuts and mini skirts suit me. No more do I just leave my eyebrows the way they are.

I'm selling the stuff I no longer need. I've figured out what I'm doing, where I'm going, and what actually, you know, suits me.

Cutting my hair tomorrow morning. It's a scary world out there. I may even buy foundation. Holy shit.

And yeah, I know this doesn't matter, and it's only fucking clothes. But it matters to me, because I'm a vacuous tart.

Thanks, Dave. Fuckin' love you, you alien invader from the planet Win.

Zero Punctuation icons

2008-10-01T16:34:14Z

And so, to celebrate another of Yahtzee's delicious reviews emerging on the internet, here are all the Zero Punctuation icons I've made.

Please do feel free to take them and use them for your own nefarious purposes (pix plz) but remember to credit me for makin' em, and say where they're from! This ain't my art, this is Yahtzee's.

More soon, probably.

BLUE WIZARD... HAS GAINED A LEVEL

2008-10-01T16:10:54Z

I have no-one to play with this evening. Is anyone free? I got my PS2 working again, so films/GAUNTLET: DARK LEGACYYYYY* are available for public consumption. Failing that, I'm damn good company at the moment, because my day's been great and IT'S OCTOBERRRRR.

Let me know! I'm lonely otherwise, what with Thomas being out 'til late o'clock.

PS. I'm going to post all of the Zero Punctuation icons I've made, as they are many. They're free for taking with credit. :)

*RED VALKYRIE NEEDS FOOD BADLY!

Hooray

2008-10-01T11:25:18Z

Happy October, everyone!

This week, I've sent my CV to six different places. I feel well accomplished.

October! I fucking love October. Calling next week, and I'll actually be able to go because I'm tanked up on Propranolol and things, and and and don't forget, I'm having an open-house sellathon on the 12th of October, so do come along to that. I can't offer crash space, I'm afraid, because Thomas has to get up early the next day for work, so. House will (optimistically...) be open from 10am for you to come over and have a rummage. If you're going to turn up at lunchtime (12ish) or dinnertime (8ish?) do let us know if you want to eat with us, because that can be arranged. I like cooking for people.

Day is intended to be laid back and entertaining. Nothing, really, will have a price - make offers, as I want it all gone. Clothes range from fetishy/cyber/goth stuff to floaty hippy goth stuff to practical stuff. There's a pair of customised New Rocks for sale, and some additional boots for sale, too, all in a size 7. (The New Rocks could fit a 7.5, too.) Also, there will be hair for sale, probably. Maybe also even some original art, if you're good.

~~THEN WE CAN ALL GET NAKED AND TOUCH EACH OTHER IN INAPPROPRIATE WAYS.~~ No wait, that's a lie. It'll mostly just be clothing for sale. :)

Anything left over hits niceboots and then ebay. Please save me from the evils of selling on ebay! :O
oh my fuck i am so busy today

FFFfffffffffffffalls.

2008-09-30T18:43:08Z

I've just finished a pair of falls for sale. I say finished - I have one more dread left to felt because I am lame and forgot to put it in the washing machine (YOU CAN FELT DREADS IN THE WASHING MACHINE FFFFFFFF) but other than that, they're done.

Thye're a pair of medium-length mixed media falls, containing roving, crochet braids, synth. dreads, Colinette shimmer five in Popsicle, skinny and full-size tubular crin in baby pink, blue and a bit of ice white and some weird etched rubber matting stuff. They're shades of pink, blue/turquoise/mint green and cream, and remind me of FRUITS-y ice-cream candy. ON YOUR HEAD. ONNN YOURRRR HEAADDDD.

They're also layered for superior coverage, soft and lightweight (srsly so light they're unlike any I own myself fffffffffff) and a groovy mix of weirdly spikey and long and flowing.

AND THEY CAN BE YOURS! THEYYYY CAN BE YOURS FOR A PRICE. A price of £27. All the stuff in there except the crin, the rubber foam matting stuff and the yarn is hand made. I spent a year learning how to felt properly to make these just perfect. THERE ARE FLUFFY CROCHET BRAIDS. FLUFFY. And the synth. dreads are solids, spirals and transitionals! HOW AMAZING IS THAT. They're also sealed in a way that makes them soft and fluffy, but non-unravelly, and are tipped for +++nonunravelling.

If you want them, email me or leave me a comment. First come, first served. Photographs soon, I should think. ...As soon as I can figure out how to tack falls onto a polystyrene head. Uh.

(Additionally, if these aren't sold nao, they'll be available for purchase at the SUPER MEGA ULTRA CHOCOLATEY FUDGE COATED AWESOME LUPIE-TASTIC SELLATHON on... the, er. On the 12 of October! THE 12th! THAT IS WHEN IT WILL BE.)

FFFFfffffffffffffffabric

2008-09-30T15:40:10Z

I am this close to just buying plain white cotton drill and drawing stipes on myself. Does anyone at all ever know where on the internet I can buy actual quantities (as opposed to fat quarters) of pink/black and green/black striped fabric? Jersey is good, cotton is good - really, I'm desperate now. This, for instance, ONLY IN PINK/BLACK, or this, even, ONLY IN AMOUNTS THAT AREN'T A FAT QUARTER.

Help. I. I have lost all my brain today. And I don't know any UK-based online fabric shops that are actually navigable/contain more than just shit.

FFFFFFFFfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

2008-09-30T15:06:37Z

I just applied for my dream job.

Yeah, really. You didn't know anytihng about that, did you? Well, now you do. Wish me luck. I. I'm going to go out and buy some oxtail soup and some cookies and then I'm going to stare at a wall!

And then maybe I'll do something totally different like MAKE SOME CRAZY-ASS CLUBBING GEAR but I don't have any zips. Sadface. Well, I'll, er, plan out! some crazy-ass clubbing gear and then cry because I can't afford hardwear. Lame! Never mind.

WHITBY AT THE END OF OCTOBER AARRGHH CAN'T WAIT. I may even have a job by then! Or maybe not, because I suck.

:D

2008-09-30T12:50:38Z

I'm a fucking moron!

My interview/sign-on week is NEXT WEEK. NEXT WEEK, not THIS ONE.

I just wasted £3 and a trip into town because I'm a fucking moron. Hooray for me. Hoo-fucking-ray for me, the champion, the champion of being a fucking moron.

But at least I have toast and peaches for lunch! Toast and peaches! And marmalade and patum peperium, too. All I'd need is some steamed, salted edamame and it'd be the best lunch ever. I could eat a tonne of it and be replete and it'd be amazing. But I don't have a tonne of it, and I don't have any edamame. Sadface.

EDAMAME+++ phytoestrogens yesplz<3*

*I may or may not be hormonally experimenting on my body for entertainment. Uh. LOOK, HERBERT WEST ICON!

Oh man, I totally suck.

2008-09-30T09:08:39Z

...My jobcentre interview is not today, but on the 7th of October.

...I feel really quite fucking stupid.

OH WELL. I have cheered myself by declaiming a paeon of insult to someone to whom I'd really love to declaim at. I think I got everything I'd like to tell them in there. Man. I should write it all down and maybe one day, I'll actually get to declaim at them.

Mind you, in the situation where declaiming a barrage of insults at them would be appropriate, they'd have done something really horrible (which I fear they will, hence the declaiming) to a friend of mine, so I really hope they don't, because then they'll have hurt this friend of mine and then I'd have to actually just gouge out their eyes.

Ssssooo. I think I'm going to make some silly clothes.

HEY SPEAKING OF CLOTHES I've been really brutal with my wardrobe and have lots of stuff for sale, ranging from the fetish/cyber scene through floaty, hippy goth to practical fluffy stuff. Via a bit of gothic lolita/retro gear, too!

I intend on offering this all up for sale at a big COME AND BUY STUFF ALSO HAVE SOME FOOD AND WATCH A FILM MAYBE thing at my house, which will substitute for a house warming party. I don't know when this will be. My parents are coming up on the 18th of October, and I'm in Whitby at the end of October, so it'll end up being sometime soon! When's best for everyone?

mmmph

2008-09-30T08:24:18Z

Green & Black's cherry dark chocolate SAVES THE DAY and it's only, what, 9am?

MAYHAP I SPEAK TOO SOON. Only time will tell. I'm-a gonna have a shower.'

PS. I made a new icon. I'm smert.

Olololol

2008-09-30T08:01:28Z

TODAY IS MY JOBCENTRE INTERVIEW. THEY WILL EAT ME. I AM TERRIFIED. (y so terrified, they've already suspended my benefit - it's not like it could get any worse)

So, to ensure that I don't get too srs, HAVE A JOKER MY LITTLE PONY. It's not even an actual one; it's a drawing.

Y SO SRS

BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING PONY OH JESUS

...is what his face is saying to me. Oh, how I lol'd. Only I didn't, I mostly was all, "Oh fuck, I have to show this to Baz somehow."

Oh, boobs.

2008-09-29T20:51:06Z

So when I'm bored and alone, I practice body popping. I'm no good at it, but it keeps me strong and entertained at least. I'm getting better at chest pops - probably because that's what I started with, thanks to my dear mate Kirsten, who is the bizniz at dancing, Im Hoe.

There's one problem with chest popping, though, aside from the eventual upper back pain if your muscles aren't used to this bizarre activity, and that's the boob-wobble factor. The point of a chest pop is that it's a solid, robotic movement with inhuman precision and control. The boobular wobble as the chest pops just ruins it! I'm going to have to invest in some heavy-duty structural engineering work if I'm going to be doing this in public any time ever, because it bugs the crap out of me.

Honestly. Why can't human bodies have, like, optional parts? Like those Early Learning Centre fruit and veg that has Velcro down the insides so you can "cut" them in half? Or rather, so you're meant to play "cooking" with them, if you're a normal person, or play "Doctor Wayjitahbeelei's Kitchen of Hybridisation" like I did and stick half a tomato onto half an apple and menace other children at playgroup with your blasphemous plastic spawn.

Basically, that's what'd be great for human bodies to be like. Don't want boobs today? Off the come, and get put in the drawer with your spare boobs (different sizes, shapes and some with multiple nipples.) Genitally indecisive? Easy!

Except it wouldn't all be attached with Velcro, of course, because that'd mean that your jumpers would get ripped to shreds by it. No, you'd have the loopy Velcro side on your actual person, wouldn't you? With the hook side on the optional extra bits. But you still wouldn't do it with Velcro. More like a sort of plug-in kind of fixture, I should think, and blank panels if you wanted to remove features entirely and not just leave the attachment device open to the air.

I have... possibly given this too much thought. Uh. *pop, pop*

Interweb halp plz

2008-09-29T18:44:44Z

HELLO COMPUTER-SAVVY FRIENDS!

We need halp with our interweb. We're neither of us tech-savvy enough to make our wireless router go. It's an ADSL router, but we want it to act as a hub - we have an internet connection that works fine (obviously) via our cable modem, but only one of us can be online at a time, and since I have a laptop, wireless is ideal.

If we attach a computer directly to the cable modem with an ethernet cable (the current set-up), then the internet works. However, if we attach a computer to the wireless router with an ethernet cable, and then attach the wireless router to the cable router, then the wireless router doesn't want to hear about how there's a perfectly good internet connection that it's directly attached to via an ethernet cable and just... sits there.

I have no idea what we need to do. DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO DO? And more importantly, WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME OVER AND DO IT FOR US BECAUSE WE HAVE HAM FOR HANDS? We can pay in undying gratitude, porn and FOOD. Fresh, delicious food! We have a new wok! We can cook delicious things for you in it. Do let us know, and then I can blog from the loo (finally) as I've always wanted to.

G'warrrn.

Edit: Thank you for all responses at the time of this update going to press! Any and all input is valued, as my current working knowledge of how this shit works is MY COMPUTER ---> ~*~MAGIC!~*~ ---> THE INTERNET.

Blah blah stupid blah.

2008-09-29T12:22:15Z

So! It's jobseeking time! I feel really stupid! Hooray! Thomas's mum is beign really helpful in reading over my stuff and making me do things, but I do feel somewhat henpecked (THIS IS MY OWN FAULT LOL) and pressured, but you know! I have no money, so lolpressure is well placed, I suppose.

So on the one hand, I'm hysterically applying for things that either a) I will never get or b) will get and then go insane doing, and on the other hand I'm hating myself very, very much for not being stronger/faster/cleverer/a scientist/employable/not hermaphroditic? OH BRAIN I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND YOUR BRAND OF BODY HATRED<3 Why can't I just have a hang-up about my hair or my weight or something? Spending an hour of my day weeping because I'm not androgynous enough is stupid, frankly.

A WASTE OF MY TIME, IS WHAT IT IS, AND NOW IT IS A WASTE OF YOURS, TOO, BECAUSE YOU JUST HAD TO READ ABOUT IT.

Solamen miseris socios habuisse doloris, and all that. I CAN DO LATIN, ME, SUCK ON THAT OH YEAH man does my e-peen ever feel hard right now OH HOW I WEEP FOR A PENIS Gone insane, brb.

I love the internet.

2008-09-28T21:31:16Z

Because it means I get to find out things like this. You heard of inflation fetishism, right? You know, where substancial oversized growth of body parts is fetisised - breasts, bellies, hips, anything - sometimes to overwhlemingly unrealistic, blimp-like proportions.

That's all well and good, but did you know about hair inflation?

Now you do. Isn't the world a better and more interesting place knowing now as you do that someone is into that? I know it is for me.

THE LULZ ARE STRONG

2008-09-27T21:59:06Z

Oh, Alchemy Gothic.

I know you make wonderful pendants and rings and all kinds of goth tat, but...

...But this looks like. Uh. It looks like something I don't tihnk you meant it to look like.

I want one, I really do.

Shawpeeng Leest

2008-09-27T11:56:41Z

Hokay, today I need to buy some toothpaste, a new brushpen (I can't believe I've fucking lost my other one already. I don't deserve nice things) and a Thank You present for a very nice person.

The Thank You present may or may not be coming from the miniatures shop up by the Junction. I fucking love that shop. They sell paint, wargaming miniatures, tabletop RP rulebooks and cool action figures. And replica wands from Harry Potter and trading cards and scenery and glue and glitter. I fucking love it. They even have vending machines of tasty treats to eat while you play or paint. :D Not a Citadel product in sight! It's really cool to see other contenders in the miniatures world, even though my love for Citadel is strong.

However, my main reason for loving this shop is that-

-THERE ARE BOXES OF WEREWOLVES. Boxes! Of little metal werewolves! GOOD ONES, TOO. Proper wolfish ones with sinewy limbs and long snappy noses! Claws and muscle and fangs! You can get little werewolves or big fuck-off metal werewolves that stand four inches tall and look cross at the smaller werewolves.

They also have boxes of strange fucked-up creatures near-identical to the ones I see in my dreams.

That shop is surely the finest shop in the whole of Cambridge, and if I ever find myself owning money once more, I will buy some little metal monsters of my very own and they will come home and live with me and sit on my mantlepiece being angry at the candles.

<3werewolves